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<title>Ōdī et amō. Quārē id faciam fortasse requīris. Nesciō, sed fierī sentiō et excrucior. by flustraaa</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22685440">Ōdī et amō. Quārē id faciam fortasse requīris. Nesciō, sed fierī sentiō et excrucior.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa'>flustraaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Happy Alec Lightwood, Happy Magnus Bane, M/M, Other, characters past, content Alec Lightwood, content magnus bane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:33:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22685440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I hate and I love. Why I do this, perhaps you ask.<br/>I know not, but I feel it happening and I am tortured. </p><p>(from Catullus 85:<br/>or as my latin teacher loving refers to him, kissey boy)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood/Original Male Character(s), Magnus Bane &amp; Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ōdī et amō. Quārē id faciam fortasse requīris. Nesciō, sed fierī sentiō et excrucior.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>never have i ever edited anything i’ve ever written</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s five long years. </p><p>Five years of careful movements and broken thoughts that he wonders why he’d ever let Alec slip from his fingers. </p><p>careful, quiet, broody Alexander. </p><p>The boy who tip toed around his parents, hiding his first boyfriend- the one who stemmed from best friend status- from his remarkably unobservant parents and ever-watching siblings. </p><p>The boy who taught him how to bake meringues and had a secret love for sweets. </p><p>It’s after five long years that he stumbles into him at a cafe. It’s five long years later that instead of the puffy tear stained eyes a of a freshly heart broken sixteen year old, he sees the exhaustion saturated eyes of a twenty one year old writing on a lap top with the same feverish endurance he’d always had. </p><p>The rigidness of a boy who’d always need we to be perfect morphed into a head of raven waves and ocean blue eyes, reading and developing thesis that could only ever lead to entire palaces and endless mountains. </p><p>He’s utterly engorged by the vision before him. </p><p>It’s Alec, surrounded by cold brew and endless syllables. </p><p>His feet carry him towards the figure, just to halt right before the table. </p><p>“Alec?” Cerulean eyes blink at him, once twice, clouded by confusion and exhaustion. </p><p>But then, pupils fixate and fingers stall from their endless drumming on the keyboard. </p><p>“Hey—“ He stops, running a nervous hand through this hair, “Shit, it’s been— wow. You look great.” </p><p>He stands, throwing out a hand. </p><p>But instead of the awkward lanky limbs he’d once known like a pirate and his freshly ink soaked treasure map, they’re strong and wrapped in veins— raven hair thinly covers the skin left uncovered by the Harvard sweatshirt Alec is clad in. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be a stranger,” he finds himself murmuring, as he gestures for a hug, and alex obliges, softly patting his back not unlike he would a brother. </p><p>“Alexander?” A soft voice murmurs, and despite the position, it radiates warmth, “Darling, who is this lovely gentleman?” </p><p>“Mags,” Alec breathes, pulling away and wrapping a soft arm around the caramel skinned man, “Hey, you remember Peter?” </p><p>“Oh, treehouse Peter?” He queries, lifting an exquisite brow; and alec only nods, “It’s nice to meet you, Peter. I’m Magnus.” </p><p>Magnus holds out a gentle hand, a warm smile on his lips. </p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Peter murmurs, “Magnus.” </p><p>And it’s then, that he catches the faint glimmer of a engagement ring on Alec’s finger. </p><p>He pulls his lips into a grin, “I’ll let you go, it was nice seeing you again.” </p><p>Alec beams, “Yeah— I’ll see you around?” </p><p>“Yeah, for sure.” </p><p>“It was nice to meet you, darling!” Magnus grins, watching as the ghost of Alec’s past makes his way to the ordering counter and our the door. </p><p>And on his way out, Peter sends a stray glance to the couple at the table, who seems to fill the puzzle in the blanks the way that he never could.</p>
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